Who They Were and What I Loved

I am a firm believer that we can learn something from everyone that comes into our life. In this thinking, I decided to develop a list of men that have crossed my heart and for whatever reason, made me love them. Some of them broke my heart, some of them I did the breaking, and some of them I will never know. But by knowing them, I’ve learned more about what I love and what I want to find in my next love. I encourage you to look back and do the same.

PM: He may have been my first official boyfriend. I loved how quiet he was…but that I always knew he was thinking. I loved how much I knew he cared about me. I loved that he would break down sometimes and tell me that. I loved his style. I loved how I knew he talked to his parents about me. I loved his smile and his laugh. I loved that he let me break his heart...but still continued to love me.

MA: He was my boyfriend for a short time; but the object of my affection for much longer. I loved how smart he was. I loved how excited he would get over math equations or politics or drinking games. I loved that he made me sing with him when we rode in his car. I loved how he was a mystery to me.

JV: He was my first real love. I loved how he made me feel. He made me feel safe and beautiful and completely adored. I loved his ambition and kindness. I loved the way that he looked at me. I loved that he would dance with me. Our relationship was fun and I loved to hear him laugh and to see his smile. I loved his family. He was my first and I loved exploring with him.

BR: He was never my boyfriend but he was a part of my life for a long time and I still put him on a pedestal. I loved his sense of humor. I loved that he didn’t take anything too seriously. I loved that we had nicknames for each other and could talk forever about nothing and everything. I loved how I could tell how much he cared about me. I loved how he always knew what he wanted to do with his life. I loved how we connected the very first night we met.

JQ: He was my second real love. I loved how smart he was. I loved that he watched the History channel and read books on the Civil War. I loved that he made salmon, black beans, and a baked sweet potato for dinner almost every night and never tired of it. I loved that he played with my hair. I loved his body. I loved his smile. I loved that he cried when he couldn’t verbalize his emotion.

DS: He was also never my boyfriend but I cared about him deeply for years. He was someone I always knew was wrong for me but that I wanted so badly. I loved how he pursued me. I loved how he went to my church. I loved that he was the life of the party. I loved that he never took things too seriously. I loved how he took care of me and took control. I loved that he loved to make me dinner. I loved how he loved my massages. I loved how he held me so close. I loved how he would carry me to bed.

BB: He was a friend…but someone that I kind of envision myself finding a version of in my future. I loved how much we had in common. I loved how we could talk about ridiculously stupid things but also connect on a much deeper level. I loved how he stood up for me when men treated me unfairly. I loved how happy he was all the time. I loved that we both loved music and understood that it was so much more than sound. I loved how goofy he was and that he was never afraid.

KF: He was another one that I dated for a while but never called my boyfriend. I loved that he was awkward. I loved that he always returned my texts and calls even if they didn’t require a response. I loved how kind his heart was and how much respect he showed for me. I loved that he never treated me poorly. I loved that he loved playing card games with me. I loved his cute Canadian accent. I loved that he was a good father. I loved that he had so much about him that I didn’t know.

BR: He and I dated for about 3 months. I loved how creative and perfect our first date was. I loved how intellectual he was. I loved that he was a writer and had written 2 novels. I loved that he once accidently sent me a passing thought for his current book. I loved his lips. I loved that he seemed so reserved until we played charades. I loved how he would hold me…and always wanted a part of him touching me throughout the night. I loved that he would make the decisions on where to go for dinner because he knew I didn’t want to. I loved that he mostly called instead of texted. I loved that I knew I could learn from him.

BH: He was my totally irrational crush that I never dated and maybe never had a chance with. But I loved him in a completely imaginary way anyway. I loved how smart he was and how much he didn’t even know it. I loved how he challenged me and made me grow. I loved that I got butterflies every time he called. I loved that I could hear him smiling each and every time I talked to him.

DS: He was my first kiss and is my current totally irrational crush. I love how brilliant he is. I love that he will make posts about topics that I have to Google even to figure out what he’s talking about. I love that he loves music and I love how ridiculously talented he is at it. I love that he inspired me to create something for him. I love that I am completely romanced by the idea of him. I love that I really don’t know him at all but somehow feel like I do.

Who have you loved? Who have you almost loved? Who do you want to love?