All Aboard the Crazy Train

Allow me to introduce myself... I'm a crazy magnet, and therefore your conductor on today's ride on "The Crazy Train." Yup, you heard correctly... crazy people are naturally drawn toward me. They can't help themselves. I should have gone into the field of counseling... I might have been a millionaire by now. However, as of late, the "crazies" I've been referring to have been of the male variety. So I've been doing my best to "put myself out there." Date more. Be open to the possibilities. And, it seems to have blown up in my face. So, I've met some guys on an online dating site, and I've went out with a few of them. Some normal, some a little weird, some just not for me, and this one in particular... CRAZY (about me, and not in a flattering way)... I also had to start this new blog as he did some digging (against my wishes) and sought out my old blog. He crossed a boundary that I requested he not cross, by searching for my Facebook page and somehow finding my blog linked to a comment I had made (my profile does not show up when searched. It is hidden, because I don't share it with every Tom, Dick and Harry that I go out with, because if you're my friend on FB, then I can't talk about you-- okay?) In addition, he lied to me on our second (yes, you read correctly- second) date about his divorce being final. He also sent me two stark raving mad emails... which you will get to read pieces of... until I finally sent a very curt email... that I will also share. There were a couple of other crazy emails. I won't bore you with all the details. However, I'm all about the sharing.



The confusion is due to the fact that I had a really great time on our first 2 (and only) dates. I laughed. I had fun. The conversation was great. The second date ended with a great butterflies in the stomach, and I want to jump your bones kiss and a "when can I see you again?"



"Friday" was my reply. A mere 4 days from now. You would have thought I had sentenced the man to life in solitary confinement. And so the persuading ensues... cute at first, but I held my ground. And then it begins to get a bit irritating. But, I recall the great kiss and the fun time I had and my patience stretch a bit longer. Then I get this in my inbox::

"on top of that when it comes to restraint, I'm sure you know I have  
none...  I'm extremely decisive. I want it or I don't. split second  
decision, based on a gut feel, reinforced (I hate that word) by a bit  
of experience and in this particular case, one really REALLY great  
kiss. And my gut feel without all the extra stuff is rarely wrong...  
(un)fortunately for me you happen to be the exception to the exception  
to the rule. WTH???? Most everything about you is new to me and I'm  
not afraid to say I love it!
 
OK.. I know that previous statement is probably some red flag  
according to most of the bazillion relationship books you may or may  
not have read, but I bet it's a green flag according to at least one...
 
Let's come back to sanity for a second... I know we don't know each  
other nearly well enough to make any kid of decision. I'm not asking  
you to move in with me... I'm not asking you to marry me... I'm not  
asking you to sleep with me... All I'm saying is I want to see you  
more... I want to talk to you more... I want to get to know you  
better... If you want to make me kiss you, that's your thing... ;)
 
All this is not meant to be any kind of persuasion. It's just me  
spilling my guts to you... Before the kiss... before the citrus  
beer... before the fried green beans... before the costume jewelery...  
even before the pithy cute sexy witty emails... there was something  
worth exploring...
 
I don't know what it is and I'm sure I never will, but I respect it  
and on some messed up level I like it, so thank you for being you and  
doing the things you do... It's all good...
 
FYI... if we ever get to a point where we sleep together, the first  
time at least we won't do anything more than sleep... That's one of MY  
rules :) Granted I HAD a rule of no kissing that early and you somehow  
shattered that...
 
I almost want to call you... how messed up is that? I do not like to  
talk on the phone more than 45 seconds..."

And to this email I make no reply.  In the words of avid texters around the globe, "WTF"?

And so because I didn't reply... roughly 50 minutes later, I get this email: 

"You don't even understand how much I respect you...

 
Sit down...
 
I almost didn't tell you this, and with anyone else I probably wouldn't...
 
I found you... As much as I want to I'm not clicking through. You have  
no idea how big that is. It's like you giving me your address... I'm  
very tempted, but I'll stay away I promise. I came across it while  
trying to find you on facebook - you talked about facebook last night  
but you're hidden. Nice job on that by the way...
 
Al Gore might have invented the internet, but in a hostile takeover I  
now own it. If it's out there I can access it... But I didn't... I  
swear!
 
There's a part of me that really really wants to use this information  
as leverage, but I won't... I can't. That's not cool and I do not want  
to be "that guy"... My heart is beating awfully fast though. I wish I  
could see your eyes... I wish you could see mine... I love eyes... and  
babies... Anyway...
 
Really though if you tried to hide yourself you did a great job! I  
don't think anyone other than I (or is it "me" in this situation?)  
could find you. Granted I wasn't trying that hard (but again, I got  
some serious skilzzz!) You slipped up once and that's how I found you...
 
Yeah you rock, I rock, we rock...?
 
I do want to read all about you when you're ready for that... Better  
yet I want to hear about it... I can wait. Jokes aside... I'm  
willingly, patiently waiting. I want to know you more. When you're up  
for it...
 
Phase two of my master plan is now in effect :)
 
MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! :)
 
(last two lines were a joke if you didn't know...)
 
loveyaseeyabye"

Dear Lord... explain to me again why I date, and why like a stupid ninny, I let this guy know my last name and pick me up for our second date? Stupid, stupid, stupid. 

And so I finally reply after a bit of deliberation, and after making sure my pistol was loaded: (this is a paraphrase)

Get a hold of yourself.  You're freaking me out.  And after a bit of "googling" of my own, it seems you are in fact still married.  So, on top of completely freaking me out, crossing boundaries that I made crystal clear should not be crossed, you are technically still married.  I can't see you anymore.  Best of luck to you.   

Yet, in my head, all I can think is..."WINNER, WINNER.  CHICKEN DINNER".  I'm going to be single forever.